Thursday, 29 October 2015

Quitting The Game Before You Lose

When you were a kid you'd play games. Whether they were board games or computer games or something on the xbox that I don't understand ! Children play games. When you're a kid playing games on your mums laptop and it starts going wrong; you pressed the wrong button by accident or you made a move you regret and you know then that you're going to lose. What do you do? You quit.

You see you're going to lose, you get scared, you quit. Fresh start, clean slate, no one has to know.



Humans are obsessed with fresh starts and clean slates and have somehow become convinced that they're impossible to have unless you move away, scrap everything and everyone and create a completely new situation. But as you grow up you have to realise, I've had to realise. That just simply isn't always possible. Isn't that terrifying ?

As you grow up it's a shock to the system when YOU do something wrong and it is YOUR fault and you CAN'T change it and you have no choice but to stand by yourself to fix and make up for what you've done because there's no 'Exit Game' button in the corner and you can't always runaway and promise yourself nothing will go wrong in your new start because it will. Things go wrong and it's very, very hard but you've got to work through them, face the consequences and believe that one day it will be alright again because it will and probably sooner than you think.

It is so easy to convince yourself that you can't change anything, that you've gone to far this time and you're in to deep and you're drowning and you're scared ... you forget you can swim. Difficult and impossible are different words.

" When you're going through hell, keep going "
- Winston Churchill

Yes, it is difficult to persevere and own up to what you've done and face it head on because there's no other way, but it's necessary and you will get through it. Something I've found helpful in these situations is the Buddhist concept of impermanence. This reminds us that nothing is permanent neither good or bad, I find this very comforting .

At the minute I am in this situation. If this was a game I would quit and start again but I've ran way enough. I can't just keep moving on to get away from the problems . I must own up to them, I've run out of options, I have to face this head on and I am going to, this time. I need to accept that no where I go in life will be perfect, life isn't meant to be perfect but you have to admit that so you can accept , work through and move on from those imperfections and then be happy :)

I'd love to hear your thought and experiences on this because it's something very new to me !

Stay Strong <3 Stay Smiley :)

Lots of love, Marianne xxx

11 comments:

  1. Marianne, this is 100% true! I've definitely had times in my life where I had to accept that I did something incorrectly and deal with it. But in the end that is how you grow and become a better person! I'm better today than I was yesterday but hope always to be better tomorrow. And I'm sure I'm going to make many, many more mistakes that I will have to fix. But everyone goes through it and in the end if you've learned something it's worth it! I'm always here if you need to talk, you are such an inspiration! Love and hugs your way my friend! XO -Kim

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    1. It's something I've been thinking about a lot recently ! I think everybody goes through things they want to runaway from but can't, but it takes a while to figure out that you need to just work through it and take the consequences and like you said, know that you will be better for it tomorrow and I think it's really important to focus on that when stuff isn't going so well :) Thank you Kim that means a lot !

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  2. This is all too true Marianne, it can be so hard sometimes to realise and admit that we've messed up, made the wrong choice or just want to give up. We put so much pressure on ourselves and so does society to be "perfect" when that's a load of sh!t, we are human and we all mess up. I always find it humbling and comforting to know that there is something to learn and to be able to grow from those situations. I do think every now and then a fresh start or a major change in direction is needed in life but like you said you can't do that all the time in life, it isn't healthy to do it all the time because you're not learning to actually deal with the situation. I'm kind of obsessed with the idea of impermanence especially after you told me about it (Huge thank you by the way!), it really gives you hope in the times you feel there isn't any. I swear 2015 has just been one of those years for a lot people where it has been hard, ha me included! Here's to the rain of 2015, here's to the sunshine 2016 shall bring and here's to life not being perfect! There is light and I'm here if you ever need to talk! Know that you are loved Marianne and you will make it through girl, you are so strong!!! <3 Sending much love, hugs and positive vibes your way! <3 xoxo

    http://rainbow-roseblossom.blogspot.co.nz/

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    1. I spent a lot of last year being miserable and letting myself be miserable because I was convinced I was in to much of a mess to get myself out of until I moved away. I moved away and there's no denying that it was necessary and I am happier purely because I am more comfortable and around less toxic people but then I noticed I had one little slip up and Immediately felt like I couldn't face it and I needed to leave again but I couldn't and that got me thinking about new ways to handle situations and this has helped me a lot because I want to be happy and healthy and It's important to me that people know that they can take control and make themselves happy and healthy :) Impermanence has been a massive help to me as well I always think about it in times of distress ! Yes Rainbow ! We'll start a positivity drive yeah ? Bring on the smiles !

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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    2. Hell yes to that! You are one incredible woman Marianne! <3 <3 <3

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  3. *standing ovation* That! Was. Amazing!! I love how you used the game reference to symbolize fear of losing. I have to admit that I find myself doing that a lot. Whenever I know that I'm near the end of a game and am about to lose, I'll quit and start over because I do not want to admit to myself that I've lost. I think that a lot of people are afraid of failure and like you said, fear is inevitable. One cannot simply go through life winning everything, I mean the reason we win things is because we've failed before and learned from that experience. It's important that we keep moving forward and not dwell on moments of failure. We have to accept that we are going to fail every now and then and it's completely normal. I really love the buddhist concept of impermanence. You've taught me something new today :D and it's definitely something I want to remember. I tend to hold on to a lot of things and just sit for hours and days even just thinking about how a certain situation could have gone differently. I'm going to start owning up to things and not being afraid to fail. Thank you so much for this reminder Marianne :) I hope you have a lovely day! and that whatever it is that you are going through ends well :) Just know that in the end you'll learn from it and you'll be stronger and wiser ;) Hope everything gets better soon x

    http://crystallizeddaisies.blogspot.com

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    1. Awww Crystal you're so kind :) I think it's common with a lot of people to do it but they just don't realise they're doing it .. or don't want to know they're doing it ! I completely agree, you do learn when you lose and it's all about using perspective to turn the situation around to something positive ! Impermanence is one of the most valuable things I've learnt in a long time and I couldn't not share it with you :) I'm the same and will jut go over and over things in my head but in reality I think I need to learn to accept it and say to myself " It's gone wrong, I need to apologise to anyone I've hurt because of that and then I need to make an action plan of how to move forward because replaying it is wasting time I could be fixing it " . Thank you hone I'll definitely keep that in mind :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  4. Mind moving post. Thank you for sharing.

    www.aimeroseblog.com

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    1. Thank you ! I'm happy you liked it :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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  5. I love this, Marianne!! Another positive and uplifting post, while managing to keep you thinking too.
    I actually just read a quote this morning on Instagram that stuck with me throughout the day: "Be gentle with yourself; you're doing the best you can." I'm not sure who quoted it but I thought I'd share :)

    Hope you're having a lovely Monday!

    ~Lor @ cozycomfyhome.com

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    1. Thank you so much that really means a lot <3 I love that quote I might have to pop that on my wall because that's really lovely :)

      Lots of love, Marianne xxx

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